she woke up with a sticky ear
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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