Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We need a shit load of segways right now
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
