so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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