there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
