I just cut my nipple shaving
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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