During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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