Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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