? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
