she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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