I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
