I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
