if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
