Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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