My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
