There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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