Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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