Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
