He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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