On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
