just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
