We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
