My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
