I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
