Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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