all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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