dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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