stop calling my apartment porn island.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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