what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
