Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
