Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
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We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
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I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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