dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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