Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
