I love black thongs
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
