She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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