It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you win again, gameday.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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