I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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