I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
