the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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