He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
