i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
