He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
