kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
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I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
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Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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