I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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