his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
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Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
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I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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