just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
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Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
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I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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