R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
