no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
