My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
