Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
