My nipple is on Facebook.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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