i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
