Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
