I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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