He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
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walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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