so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize