i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
