just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
