it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize