i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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