I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize